the_chappy | (no subject)

(no subject)

Depending on one's point of view, it's either very late or very early when Ryan returns to the flat. He stayed with Chris at the infirmary for a couple hours while Jack was being healed. It was a miracle she'd come out with only cuts and bruises, though he knows the most serious injuries weren't physical.

He had told her she could have a place to stay here but she chose to stay behind in the infirmary. He didn't like the idea, she needed rest not to be fussing over Jack, but he didn't argue with her either. At least she wouldn't be alone.

As quietly as he can, he opens the door, hoping not to disturb David and Elaine.

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"Yes, I was still awake. There was no way I was sleeping. At least David didn't wake. He knows something's going on but not precisely what."

Elaine sighs. "I'm so glad you're here." Solid, warm, here. Glad she's not sleeping alone tonight and hating herself just a little for being glad in the face of someone else's sorrow.

He gives a thin smile at that and rests his forehead against hers for a moment.

"I know I haven't been easy to live with these past few days..."

"You were worried. We both were. I can't fault you for that," she says soothingly.

"She's safe now."

For a given value of safe.

"Still. Thank you for...everything," he says softly with a kiss to her forehead. Sometimes Ryan thinks he would have lost his mind by now if it weren't for Elaine.

Other times he knows would.

"Yeah, she is." Though the old worries had been replaced with new ones.

She smiles slightly and closes her eyes. She sighs softly. "It'll probably take a while before she's...herself again."

She's also worried, as well.

If she ever is.

"She won't really talk much about what happened." He's not sure if there was any deeper reason for this or what to make of it.

Elaine thinks about this for a moment. "She might...feel badly. About going without..."

Anything. Everything. Saying goodbye.

Elaine swallows hard and doesn't finish the thought. "...and then getting captured."

That leaves him speechless. It was so obvious and God knows he'd been angry with her for that but he'd never said it or anything like it.

Not that his daughter would need words to pick up on how he felt.

"She might," he says hollowly, not meeting Elaine's gaze.

"I know I would," she says softly. She puts her arms around him again.

"It's not her fault," he says with a shake of his head. "She can't believe that."

That was too much guilt to carry around for something she couldn't control.

"It's very easy to take on blame, even for something that isn't your fault," she says softly.

"Easy to drive yourself crazy that way too," he mutters, wondering how he's going to talk to Chris about this.

Elaine nods. She knows about that very well. Of course, back then, there were some that encouraged her.

"It...will take time."

Ryan falls silent again, not able to think of anything more to say even with everything weighing on his mind.

"I think we should try to get some sleep. This is going to be a long week."

Elaine sits up. "Yes, we probably should." She stands up and holds her hand out to him.

Together, they walk towards the bedroom, Elaine keeping him very close with an arm around him.

She hopes he does sleep.

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