(no subject)

[the_chappy]

When they lived in Virginia they had a tree like this one, large with deep roots and low-slung branches. He had added a tire swing, the kids wanted one and it seemed to fit with the whole package ... two kids, a house in the suburbs with a backyard and a large tree. The kids wanted a treehouse too but the upper branches were too close together to make that possible. Besides, it was too high up and it made him nervous. Not that it ever stopped Chris or Ryan from racing as far up the tree as they could go.

He could hear someone laughing and was brought back to that backyard in Virginia where it was Chris' laugh and she was right near by. Safe at home and he'd never let anything bad happen to her.

His mind veered between the remembered past and the imagined present. Days of teaching her to play baseball, stargazing, soccer games and vacations mingled with memories of reports and his own knowledge of what happens during interrogations. It was no stretch to imagine what was happening to her now, what could happen, the horror bolstered by the truth.

Ryan took one breath, then another and found it hard to breathe deeply without concentrating. Everything he had of her was in the past. Every moment and memory were all relegated to the past tense and soon that would become the new normal. A future he never wanted unfolded before him.

Even then, it was cold comfort to the knowledge that she'd likely never see her family again, that if she were alive she'd spend decades as a hostage until her eventual "suicide". His only hope was that he might see her again here and even that was a slim chance. Beyond that, he had nothing.

Comments

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"Captured?" She frowns, brow furrowing. "How? Where?"

Her arms tighten around him, as well, as icy worry grips her insides.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"She, Tony, Chase, Behrooz and Sharpe went to go rescue Jack after he was captured by the Chinese."

As he said that, he was filled with a sudden anger that darkened his face and pulled his mouth into a tight line. What was she thinking? A small group like that. This bar she could have chosen a hundred people with powers who could help her! What the hell was she thinking?

"The rescue planned failed," he mutters. "Behrooz and Sharpe made it out, the others didn't. Sharpe doesn't know what happened to them."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

She expelled a soft huff of breath. "Oh, God..." She turns to him and hugs him properly.

"I didn't even know Jack had been captured. Why didn't she say anything?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"I think she just came in, got a team together and left." With a shake of his head and a frown, he looks out onto the lake. If he had been in the bar he could have stopped her or talked her out of it. Other people had to see - why didn't any of them say anything! If Behrooz and Sharpe hadn't made it back he might never have known what had happened.

"She should have known better," he says bitterly.

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

Elaine doesn't say anything to that, but she doesn't know what else to say.

She also doesn't know that she wouldn't have done the same thing, had it been Ryan in Jack's place.

"There has to be something we can do," she says softly, and a little helplessly, because Elaine can't even use a teleportation spell without a known destination.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"We don't know where they are! The only thing Sharpe knew was that the prison was in a mine in China and they've probably been moved by now."

If they're still alive.

"She should have left a note," he growled. "She didn't even say anything, she didn't leave a note, nothing. I can't believe she was so irresponsible! Ten years of military training, several years with CTU and that's the best she can do."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

Elaine has never seen him so angry, but she knows that lying under that is worry and grief, as well. And she also can figure out that given the circumstances, it's quite likely that...

But Elaine doesn't let herself think about that, and just nods, keeping her hand on his arm.

Oh, Chris, why didn't you leave a note, at least? She knows it's going to destroy him if she doesn't come back.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

He shakes his head, still looking out and nothing, lost in his own anger. "She took inexperienced people with her. I mean, Behrooz? He's a kid. He doesn't have the training. And not one of them spoke Chinese! Did she really think it would be simple?"

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

Elaine shakes her head, and lets him get it out. He needs to.

She knows why Chris did it, she was in love and her judgement was off where Jack was concerned. She hates seeing him like this.

Oh, God, please come back, Chris, please please please come back...

She doesn't know what he'll do if she doesn't come back.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

There's a huff of breath, followed by another as he finds it difficult to breathe again. A familiar weight settling on his chest again.

"She's not coming back," he gasps between clenched teeth.

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"Oh, Ryan," she says softly and holds him.

She knows what he's saying is...very, very possible, though she can't quite give up hope yet. She just can't.

She swallows and manages, "You don't know that."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"Yes, I do." He wants to believe her but he's afraid of believing otherwise, of waiting for something that will never come.

Even if he knows he'll never stop waiting.

Ryan shakes his head, focusing on the ground, the grass blurring before him. His voice is thick with emotion as he says, "You don't know them like I do."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

Elaine's heart breaks for him when she hears the tears in his voice. She stays holding him and kisses his temple.

She has to believe things will be all right, she just has to...but she just can't reassure him. Not enough to make him believe, and maybe it was cruel to make him believe. When...she might not be back after all.

Tears threaten and she blinks hard to keep them back.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

He keeps his head bowed, every so often closing his eyes, trying to fight back the tears. It was pointless and some part of him knew that but Ryan didn't want to fall apart.

"I don't know what to do."

About anything.

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

He can't see them, but there are tears on Elaine's cheeks. She closes her eyes and holds him tighter.

"I know. I don't either."

I'm not going anywhere.

She knows he doesn't want to fall apart. But it's okay if he does.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

Ryan's quiet for a few moments, waiting till his breathing steadies enough so that he can talk. "I think we should go inside."

His grip on his emotions is tenuous as is, being out in public didn't help.

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

Elaine nods, brushing tears from her cheeks as she stands. When he stands as well, she puts her arm around him as they head back to the flat.

No matter what, she's not going anywhere.