the_chappy: (Lilies)
[personal profile] the_chappy
There were some things he never wanted to do and some things he never imagined himself doing.

Like preparing the body of a friend for a wake.

Elaine had decided that Tony's corpse needed to be prepared, his wounds dressed and that tarp removed. It might be more difficult to explain the shroud he was wrapped in now, the gauzy white cloth that covered his body, with just one thin layer over his face like a veil. This shroud raise more questions than just leaving him in the tarp, a fact that bothered Ryan, but that option didn't seem ... decent. It was distasteful on a visceral level, offending something that went beyond logic.

Visit the sick. Harbor the harborless. Ransom the captive. Bury the dead.

That didn't make this much easier though. It was out of respect, duty and even pride that he was here. He couldn't leave Elaine to do this alone, that was never an option. Still, it was hard to look at the ashen skin and the wounds and not be horrified, not wonder about what his own body had looked like. One bullet wound but the entry point was different and Ryan was grateful for that. The neat, small entry wound in Tony's forehead was easy to cover with bandages, still leaving his face visible. Intact. Lying over the body, on his chest, was a small bouquet of white lilies.

The only problem after the wake would be the burial. Something would have to be done soon. He knew the others were waiting to see if Michelle would arrive here or what the chatter on the mission...

But it couldn't wait any longer. They'd have to take care of the body and he had to be done soon. It didn't matter what condition the body was in, it just wasn't right to wait. It seemed disrespectful somehow. Not to mention the unspoken hope that he knew was shared by the others that if Tony was buried maybe he could come back to Milliways. It was insane and sounded almost like Milliways' own version of superstition but it also made a strange sort of sense. Tony would come back here if he could so what else could be keeping him but this?

The still sparsely decorated room has more furniture in it now. Along with the bed that the body lay on - a single, covered with a white sheet and pushed horizontal against the wall opposite the door - there were also a few folding chairs in case anyone needed to sit during the blessing.

Across the hall, in Room 515, there was none of the usual bedroom furniture, just chairs, tables and two couches. On one table there was food, plates and napkins. On the other table (and in the two coolers underneath) there are soft drinks, coffee, tea and a wide variety of liquors.

Ryan walks over to the doorway where Elaine is standing and waits for people to come by.

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-26 09:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] action-antihero.livejournal.com
"I'm not sure whether it's a good thing or not that he and Michelle don't have any kids." One the one hand, Michelle wouldn't have to worry about raising a son or daughter that wouldn't know their father; but on the other they had both wanted children so badly, and now Tony wouldn't get the chance.

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-26 09:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] and-far-away.livejournal.com
"...difficult one. They wanted them?"

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-26 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] action-antihero.livejournal.com
"Yeah, last I heard they were still trying, but no luck." Jack stares out the window, not really seeing anything outside. "Tony would have been a good father."

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-26 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] and-far-away.livejournal.com
Sharpe, who didn't know him, can only nod quietly.

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-27 04:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] action-antihero.livejournal.com
Jack just stares outide for a moment, not saying anything. Then, quietly, more to himself, he asks, "Why him instead of me?"

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-27 09:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] and-far-away.livejournal.com
"Jack, there's... only one can answer that is the man who killed him. But whatever the reason, it's not your fault."

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-27 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] action-antihero.livejournal.com
Jack doesn't say anything; though this isn't the first time he's heard it, hearing it again doesn't make it any easier to believe.

"Do you really have what it takes to let me kill him when you're looking him in the eye?"
"...Yes."


No, I don't.

"I-I would've..." He stops, unable to say it; that if they'd just asked, just given him another second to make the offer, he would have told them everything they wanted to know. Doing anything to save the lives of the people you care about sounds noble, but not when you've spent your entire career in a business where it's always about the greater good, no matter who is at risk. Where everyone is expendable, when it's a choice between one life or many.

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-27 07:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] and-far-away.livejournal.com
"What would you've done, Jack?" Sharpe asks, gentle but implacable. "Whatever it is, I'd lay good money he wouldn't've wanted you to."

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-27 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] action-antihero.livejournal.com
"No, probably not." Tony had made the same mistake before, after all, and had gone to prison for it. "Kind of hard to remember that when..."

When I look at Tony. When I think about Michelle.

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-27 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] and-far-away.livejournal.com
"But that's when it's the most important to remember it."

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-27 09:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] action-antihero.livejournal.com
"And when it doesn't seem to matter as much."

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-27 09:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] and-far-away.livejournal.com
"Jack. Listen to me. When you start feeling like it's your fault, that's exactly when you need t'remember what he would've wanted."

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-27 10:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] action-antihero.livejournal.com
"Yeah, I do," Jack snaps, suddenly irritated. "I remember Tony wanted to get teh hell out of this business because he wanted to be with Michelle and they couldn't risk their lives like that anymore. I remember that he wanted kids and to see them grow up. He wanted a life like anyone else. That's what Tony wanted."

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-27 10:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] and-far-away.livejournal.com
"And what he wanted more, as far as I can tell, was to have you out of there alive and safe. And he did that."

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-28 03:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] action-antihero.livejournal.com
"Well maybe he shoudn't have," Jack snaps, standing from his chair; he's going to need a drink if he stays here much longer. "Maybe he should have had his priorities straight."

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-28 03:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] and-far-away.livejournal.com
"And maybe he had his priorities completely straight, for him." He stands up alongside Jack. "Wouldn't you have done the same, if it was the other way 'round?"

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-28 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] action-antihero.livejournal.com
"Yeah," he says, softly, pouring himself a drink. If their places had been reversed, he wouldn't have even thought about it. "I'd have fewer reasons to stay back, though."

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-28 04:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] and-far-away.livejournal.com
"When it comes to the crunch", Sharpe says quietly, "you're never thinking about the reasons to stay behind."

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-28 09:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] action-antihero.livejournal.com
Jack takes a sip of his drink, walking back toward the window. "No. But...maybe he should have."

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-28 10:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] and-far-away.livejournal.com
"Can't second-guess him, Jack. You wouldn't have, I wouldn't have, he didn't."

Re: Room 515

Date: 2006-08-29 12:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] action-antihero.livejournal.com
"Yeah," he says, softly, unsure what else to say. Knowing it with his head is one thing, knowing it with his heart is another.

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