(no subject)

[the_chappy]

Placeholder

It's early in the day and Ryan got a small gift for Chris - two books, unwrapped. There are two other gifts nearby, just some thing he picked up for David (3-D puzzle) and Elaine (art supplies).

Feeling a lot calmer about this anniversary than the last. Sunrises no longer freak him out, yay! He's been pondering last year's journey though heaven and hell and everywhere in between and how this relates to his feelings on Tony's death.

Yeah. Placeholder.

Comments

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"He's pretty anxious about Beth. Worried about her. He seems fine, but I know he's worried about being a good father to the baby." Elaine sighs and leans her head against him again.

"I think he will be. He tends to underestimate himself." She turns to look up at him. "That's probably a normal thing for most new fathers, though, I'm sure. What was it like for you?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"Yeah. Sort of," he amends after a moment's thought. Underestimating himself hadn't quite been his problem.

"After everything with Sean, I had idea of what to expect but ... it wasn't the same, of course." The only thing that had been similar were the everyday mechanics of raising a child.

Ryan pauses, trying to find the words. "I think, for me, it was just the idea that there was this person who was going to depend on me completely. And look up to me. Hopefully. It was, ah, overwhelming at times."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

Elaine nods, thinking about that, and about Spike and Beth and the new baby.

"I can imagine so," she says. "When I was growing up, when a woman had a child, she had a lot of other women around to help her. The fathers...weren't involved very much until the children were older. I am very glad things have changed."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"It was still that way when I was a kid," he says with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Well, except nurses and doctors instead of other women."

So, not the same at all.

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

Elaine smiles up at him. "You seem...very peaceful." It was different than last year at this time.

And then she remembers last year around this time. She can't quite believe it's been a year.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"It's different this time around." Something he hadn't been expected. He'd been expecting those feeling of anxiety to return, bracing himself for it, and they never materialized.

"I've just had a lot of time to think about everything that happened this year." And recently, to some extent.

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"There has been a lot," Elaine says softly. "So very much has happened. And you've come to some conclusions from all the thinking?"

Elaine is fairly serene, but probably not for exactly the same reasons, after all. And in many ways, Ryan had much more to come to terms with than she ever did.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"Maybe not conclusions," he admits. There were still things that he didn't understand, still questions unanswered. "But, I've finally made peace with what happened."

Ryan takes her hand in his. "And I'm not afraid of what's waiting for me on the other side of the door."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

This makes her smile. "I'm so glad," she whispers, and brings his hand to her lips to kiss it. She looks up at him and she can see peace in his eyes.

She puts both of her arms around him and hugs him tight. "I love you."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

He hugs her back, silently thanking God or whoever was responsible for bringing her into his life. Pulling back long enough to look at her, he pushes some hair back from her face. "I love you too."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

She beams up at him, closing her eyes as he touches her hair. "So...what are your plans for the day?" she asks, just terribly happy that he's at peace and that he seems content.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"Well, Chris is coming over to visit later. And for dinner," he adds with a slight smile. "Aside from that and making dinner, my day is pretty wide open."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"I'll help with dinner," she says. "I think both of us have days that are wide open, then. I can't think of any better way to spend the day than with you."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"I appreciate. Chris told me she misses having home-cooked meals."

At which point he reminded her she could try cooking at home but he understood what she was getting at. It was sometimes too much work to cook an entire meal just for yourself. He can't say he ever did better than frozen dinners or ordering out once Vicky died.

"Got any plans on how to spend the day? And do you know how to make an apple pie?"

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"I know how to make an apple pie...and the preparation for that will take some time, so I think we may have our answer for how to spend the day."

Elaine grins. "We'll need about five pounds of apples."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"Between that and the pot roast." Though most of the time there was just letting it simmer.

"That can be done. Do we have the um... pie pans?" Ryan's obviously not much of a baker.

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"Of course," she says. "From Thanksgiving." Elaine hasn't moved from where she is in his arms.

She should probably do that if they're going to cook, though.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"Oh yeah," Ryan says, a chagrined smile on his face. "How did I forget that?"

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"I don't know! We cooked for days, it felt like." She grinned again. "But it was fun, having everyone over. And...oh! it's David's first Thanksgiving this year. At least that he can eat, anyway."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"Yeah, it will be." He was so used to seeing David eating with them that sometimes he forgets it wasn't always that way.

"I'm sure he'll like all the pies and sweets."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"Of course. He's definitely a little boy, through and through." Elaine sighs happily. "Will we try having a big Thanksgiving again, or shall we have something smaller?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"I don't know. I was wondering that too."

Ryan's quiet for a moment, weighing the options. "It might be too early to tell. It depends on who's around and what other people have going on. But I wouldn't mind doing it again."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"It was fun to prepare, if a lot of work. And I enjoyed having everyone over."

It was rather like the christening of their home, in a way.

Elaine leaned her head on his chest for a few moments.

"Well, if we are going to bake a pie, we should probably get going on the apple-peeling."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"We should probably get the apples, I don't think we have that many here." He rubs circles on her back as he thinks.

"Would we need a specific kind?"

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"Cortlands work well. Several recipes recommend that type."

While he's doing that, she's not as inclined to move...which could be detrimental to any activity at all.

Not that she's complaining, of course.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"I could get those from Bar, I'm sure," he suggests, not moving and still rubbing small circles on her back.

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"I'm sure," Elaine agrees. And then she grins up at him. "We don't seem very motivated to move, do we?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

Leaning in, close enough that their noses are almost touching, he whispers, "We don't have to start cooking right now, do we?"

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"No," she whispers back. "No, we really don't." Elaine lets her eyes close half-way and leans up closer, her lips barely touching his. "We can do whatever you want."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chappy_/]

"Good," he murmurs, brushing his lips against hers.

"I have a few ideas on how we can spend the morning." He pauses, just to drink in the sight of her, before kissing her again.

They had plenty of time for cooking, later.